Towards that end, we're going to have a new and unfortunately all too regular feature here on svhelloworld.com. It's called Things Jason Fucked Up Learn From Our Experiences! (OK, we're still working on the title.) When we screw something up, do something wrong, break something, injure someone or just generally cock something up, we'll put it up on the blog so y'all can learn from us. I just wonder if the internet infrastructure can handle the bandwidth it will take to document the sheer volume of buffoonery. So, welcome to our first installment.
(Note: it's going to get a little graphic from here on out. If you a.) get queasy easily, b.) are currently eating or c.) are my mom, it's best you stop reading)
Our story begins at the pumpout dock. For those unfamiliar with life on a sailboat, the pumpout dock is a necessary evil. Sure, we have toilets on board but where does all that "stuff" go? We are not connected to any sort of city sewer system and dumping that "stuff" directly overboard into the marina where all of our boats are parked is pretty gross. So we direct it into what are euphemistically called "holding" tanks. What do they "hold"? Stuff.
At one end of the equation, we have a 10 gallon "holding" tank on board, bursting at the seams with fetid, rotting "stuff". Now, the stuff that comes out of each and everyone of us starts out as fairly unpleasant. But when you let this stuff sit in a tank for two, three, four weeks at a time, it transforms into an unholy solution of everything wrong in the world.
At the other end of the equation is the waste pump. It's a simple nozzle connected by 20 feet of hose to a pump like no other pump. A stadium full of Turkish hookers couldn't match the sucking power of this pump. The theory is that you hold the nozzle onto the fitting on deck called "waste" that leads to the "holding" tank, turn on the suction at the nozzle and the pump will suck out the "stuff" into some mysterious tank somewhere and out of your life for good.
Here's the part that I need you to listen to very carefully. Lean forward closer to your monitor if you must. If you're listening to music, turn it off. Just turn it off. This is something you will thank me a thousand times over for telling you. When holding the nozzle onto the deck fitting:
PUSH THE NOZZLE DOWN ONTO THE DECK FITTING LIKE YOUR VERY LIFE DEPENDS ON IT.
When you apply that suction force from the pump to the "waste" outlet, the contents of the "holding" tank will come roaring up that outlet hose like the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. If you do not provide a strong enough seal between the nozzle and the deck fitting...
Ahem.
I've taken three showers and I still can't get the smell out of my brain.
47°40'49.04"N 122°24'30.54"W
